49

The moment i crawled out of shell i sud hav expected.....buthen i think its better i stayed back in da shell...i guess its not da time 4 me yet and yes i actualli should give up as is nearing end n i shall not lie 2 myself anymore and yes i feel like crying

number 36

she said : u looked awful and alone
i said : it was the greatest night ever but yet it was the sadness ever ....sighhhh..things will never be complete without them around....


she said : ure a great friend and guy and u need someone to acknowledge that
i said : ??????? i guess i lost the some1 that knows the real me *cheers*
she said : is her/his lost...=)

Questions

Normally , when you are too free and have nothing much much to do...u tend to do some self reflecting and soul searching...and u tend to ask yourself too many question where you yourself cant answer . I know it is bad and unnecessary but i cant help it.....with the things that happen these few days....many questions popped out in my mind .
Days are drawing closer to graduation , what does the future holds for me?
is the future is as bright as ppl thought it would be? with the current economic and political situation in and out of the country.
Where do i go after this? Should i start with a consultant company or straight to a contractor company?
Do i belong to engineering?
Beside these issues, family issues also started to ask questions . Questions like ,
where and how my family will changed in the future when i graduate and my bro gets married ? Things are obvious lately , it is showing signs of crack.
On the personal part , question such as ,
have i successfully suppress my bad inherited genes of being unreasonable , highly tempered and much more weird attitudes?
have i successfully transformed myself?
Will the incident happen that saturday night do any damages to me and every1 else?
When can i get rid of my bad habits?
As times past by longer and longer i suddenly felt like my friends around me slowly one by one getting far far away.
When does the issues within me will be resolved?
and the big question is where do i stand in this world?
hmmm....hmmmmm.....
Question , question , question ! where are the answers answers answers ?

Thoughts

today , i stood up the stage , take a good look at every1....they looked free , happy and relax....
is this life? a good doze of alcohol and dancing ? at times when i looked around.....everyone around is my friend....but....y do i still feel that something is missing? what is missing?

No. Thirty

There is something very worrying about it...cant find the words to describe it....da feeling is so errie...terrified....it felt weird it is horrifying... still searching for the right words to describe it...lightning will strike the second time? God , enlightenment?

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep. Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet. Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go. Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go. My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show? I lose the track that loses me, so here I go. And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night. Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me, So I set out to cut myself and here I go. I'm not calling for a second chance,I'm screaming at the top of my voice.Give me reason but don't give me choice. 'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again. And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep. And my reflection troubles me, so here I go. I'm not calling for a second chance, I'm screaming at the top of my voice. Give me reason but don't give me choice. 'Cause I'll just make the same mistake, I'm not calling for a second chance, I'm screaming at the top of my voice. Give me reason but don't give me choice. 'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again. Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep. Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars. Look at the stars fall down. And wonder where did I go wrong.

No. Dua Puluh Nine

Another usual day in lab....another monday blues

me : sighhhh.....dis lab really depressing lar.... i am very depressed this semester larh...transport , fyp sighhh~

kumbang : u know wad...i depressed very long d bout this thing...

Conclusion :

1. everyone is in the same boat , everyone is depressed
2. it confirms my feeling that this semester very depressing